Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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