it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Randomize
