Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
