i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
