I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
