Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
