ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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