awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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