Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
