Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
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