His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
