My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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