I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
