It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
