I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
