I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
