I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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