we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
