I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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