I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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