i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
