Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
