you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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