are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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