omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
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