can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
