I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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