I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
