I just pynch a tree in the face
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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