i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
i believe in u and ur pee
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
