mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
