i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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