you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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