I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
he thought i was a dude.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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