How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
