its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
