She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
you had me at cake vodka
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
