Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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