so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
