That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
