I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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