I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
