She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Randomize
