you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize
