I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
