Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize