Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
