the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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