my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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