Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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