but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
