im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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