How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
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